The Light Side of Death
by sunnie-b
Summary: A girl who is lost in questions. A boy who is consumed with answers. While they're struggling with the typical problems of a teenager, they slowly approach the change of their lives.


**A/N: ******Disclaimer: ****Twilight belongs to SM.

This is unbeta'd. Please, forgive my mistakes.

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><p>Chapter One – Kiss My Ass<p>

I saw his eyes.

I saw his hatred, his violence, his aggression.

I saw his addiction.

But I hadn't known that just yet. The only thing I knew that I was seeing green which wouldn't have been unusual in Forks. I was positively furious. How dare he?

'Is there a problem with your hearing? Or are you just plain dumb?'

Words that shouldn't have mattered, but hurt me anyway because they came from him.

_Man up, Bella! Don't let him bully you! He's at fault; he's smoking pot, not you._

The others tried to calm him down. I didn't understand why was he so mad. Okay, I saw them smoking pot and it was illegal but they had to know that I wasn't going to tell on them.

"Man, she's the new-girl. She's still learning where her place is -'

Mike-the-biggest-prick-of-the-town defended me.

_Bad point, Mikey_.

And this is how Bell-bomb-a exploded.

'Well, if it isn't the pig that's comparing me to dogs. Hey, Mikey haven't your Mom ever taught you that dogs eat pork?'

Now everybody was looking at me. I flushed.

_Great Bella, you just had to go and open your big mouth. They are going to eat you._

'You dirty, little-'said Mike as he started in my direction but a velvet voice stopped him.

'There is no need for violence. She's just a little girl.' said Edward, his eyes burning with rage. 'And like little girls she'll damn well get the hell away from here, and never mention this.' he made a gesture that indicated that I should leave.

But at this point stubbornness simply got the better of me. With burning cheeks quietly as a breeze I bit out:

'What if I don't?'

'What?'

'What?' I tried to imitate his deliciously high-pitched voice.

The tension was tangible. Six pair of eyes were focused on me. One darkening from light moss green to a deeper shade. _Shit, now he was really angry_. They were stunned to silence. None of them knew how to react and not because they weren't smart enough- excluding Mike- or they didn't have enough bad-ass comments handy.

We were standing behind one of the buildings of Forks High. To an observer it would have seemed that we were a circle of friends but I was already in big trouble. I didn't know how I had gotten into it. I just wanted to have a small walk in the lunch break. I had felt quite faint as always after seeing blood. Mr. Banner and his persistence of teaching us how to determine our own blood type never ceased to amaze me. I didn't really get his point, because firstly, I already knew. Secondly, any nurse would do better than me. And if Biology wasn't important for my university application, I probably would have run out of class. But I, being the brave bunny I am, stayed.

Now, it seemed brave bunny had left me. I was all alone in the mess I'd made.

I knew they wouldn't hurt me- abusing the chief's daughter is a big No-No after all. On the other hand I was sure that they were about to put the fear of God in me.

I had two options: Run and Never look back or Stay and Confuse them with my (non-existent) snarky intelligence. Decisions… of which I actually had none. Because none other but the Edward I-can-have-you-drop-your-panties-just-by-smirking Masen was suddenly before me. One moment he was standing beside Tanya, next his nest of a hair was in front of me.

'What did you just say ?' sounded his angry question.

'Are you deaf or just smoked your brain out ?' Before I could consider whether my comeback was "cool" enough, I was pushed –or more like plastered- up to the wall and Edward had his hand twisted in my white T-shirt. If it weren't for his flashing green eyes I probably would have come right then.

Thank God for flashing,angry eyes. Wet panties at school really just weren't my 'thing'.

I was never really good with situations like this, I mean what could I possibly do?

I made eye contact and _that_ was a mistake. It didn't matter that I already knew that his eyes were green, nor did my observation of how the shifting of their colour displayed the changing of his moods. I wasn't prepared for him to see me. I wasn't prepared to see moss and jade together combined, up-close. I wasn't prepared for a single soft smile. But I was well prepared for the weak-knees. And fortunately he was holding me up rather firmly.

He bent his head to whisper in my ear, 'You're going to kiss me when I pull away.'

I was shocked. Maybe that soft smile was a smirk. No, I had been watching him I knew his features like the recipe of a good lasagna. And then, my brain started to work.

'What? No!'- I whispered back angrily. It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss him because, well, you don't see and not want to kiss Edward Masen. I was simply taken aback that he would think I was that easy.

'Yes, you will if you want to get out of here fast and unhurt.' –answered Edward with his lips still on my ear.

'Good try, but thanks no.' I started to pull away thinking that he was just joking but he strengthened his grip.

'Listen, if you kiss me, they'll think that you just wanted to get my attention... but if you don't, they'll know that you tried messing with us. Believe me you don't want them to know that.'

I hesitated. I looked at them and they sure seemed confused and angry all at once.

'Do it now!'- he breathed.

And I did.

It was nothing how I imagined our first kiss. My right leg didn't rise awkwardly. My eyes were wide open and so were his. Our teeth clashed. He bit my lower lip. It was awful. He bruised me and he didn't even use his tongue.

Unhurt, my ass.

I mustered up all my strength and pulled away. I chanced one final look at him then ran away with a speed that would make Usain Bolt ashamed. Or maybe not.

I just had my first kiss with the boy who starred in my wet dreams.

And it really was awful.

Stepping in the house. Pulling out the keys from the lock. Throwing my monster of a bag on the floor. Taking my shoes off. Padding into the kitchen. Taking a glass from the upper left-hand cupboard. Filling it with water. Drinking. My routine of four months. That is how long I'd been living with Charlie, my Dad. With my Mom traveling the States with the 'love of her life', Phil, I had no choice but come to the tiny, rainy, full of woods Forks to live with the Chief while I finished the rest of my high school education. It was a rather big change, considering Arizona is the polar opposite of the Olympic Peninsula. Strangely, I couldn't say I missed it. I wasn't a party face in Phoenix, either. I had my share of friends and I even kept in touch with them for several months but slowly and steadily I had become accustomed to my new surroundings and they had forgotten me.

Sadly, I wasn't the champion of making friends. In four months I succeeded in making one. Angela, to be more specific. Although she was a really good friend and we became quite close. But still, I sucked at socializing. I wasn't one for speaking a lot, I liked to listen to other people or just simply watch them. Creepy, I know. And watch I did. Too bad I had eyes for only one boy.

Relaxing for half an hour. Writing homework. Preparing dinner and studying. Reading... a lot. My routine of the afternoon. Occasionally I spent some time with Angela, either in Port Angeles or at Angela's.

At precisely seven o'clock Charlie arrived home, though once or twice a week he was an hour late, because he had some 'important errands that could not have been delayed'. I think he just wanted to make his job seem more exciting than it really was. I guess everyone has their illusions. Mine was Edward Masen. I thought if I watched him for the right amount of time, I'd eventually pick up the courage to talk to him. Illusions, once again. I didn't even know what attracted me to him so much. Okay, he was hands down the most beautiful boy I'd ever met and he had kind of funny habits like tugging at his hair but he had nasty habits like smoking weed and God knows what else. He did good in school and if he weren't always hanging with that stupid Mikey he wouldn't have been considered 'bad' at all. He never bullied others, not unless they really pissed him off. He was rich, I mean everyone knew of the Masens in Forks. Apparently they were good buddies with Charlie. Edward was everything a girl could have asked for: He had the brains, the looks, and the goods. He was set for life.

Me, on the other hand, not so much. I had no idea what I wanted to do with myself. I grew up in a 'broken' family, my idea of a normal life was pretty fucked up, my opportunities of university education were questionable. Or so I thought. It wasn't until later that realized that I exactly knew my way in Life. And that in my own funny way I was always 'walking' on it.

My real problem was the lack of confidence. I can't remember a time when I wasn't unsure of myself. My mother's lifestyle probably didn't help a bit because while she could have been the role model of confidence for an outsider, to me she was as insecure as they get. She could never stand on her own feet, she always needed a man to be with. She just didn't care whether it was Charlie, or a Lawyer or Phil. And for that I really felt sorry for my Dad. I mean, he was the means to the end of her teenager life. She always hated her parents saying they never understood her, never supported her choices. She couldn't wait to get away from them. So I never met my grandparents. Renee is a selfish bitch. But she's my Mom and I can't afford not having her too in my life.

Charlie grew up with his grandparents. His parents, Mary and Charles, died in a fire. It wasn't an accident. Charlie was only five but he swore that when he grew up he will do as much as he can, to prevent other families from having to suffer that way. He became a police officer. Then the Chief of the tiny town of Forks. He married Renee directly after graduating, although she was a year younger. I came to this world exactly a year after that. Charlie 'worked to death' for me and Renee but for her it was never enough, she wanted more money, bigger house but most importantly she wanted a new guy. She got bored with Dad because he was too mediocre for her. And he wasn't the 'love of her life'. One day, when I was three, Charlie came home from another tiring day of work and found his wife in the living room packing. She only said two words: "I'm leaving". And because he loved her and knew she was miserable he let her go. My Mom told me that not exactly four months ago. When I asked Charlie about it, he just said, " What happened, happened. Don't worry your pretty head about it." He is a good man. I love him and I don't tell him that enough.

'Bella, I'm home,' – thundered Charlie's voice through the entire house. I slowly padded to the hall to greet him.

'Hi, Dad!' - was my reply between two kisses on the cheek.

'Something smells good in here,' - he continued as we stepped into the kitchen. ' Fish?'

'Yeah, I thought we should eat them before they went off.' It wasn't even a week ago that he went on his usual fishing trip with Harry. 'Do you want me to help with the plates?' - was his next question, although not as excited as before. Charlie had always had this funny habit that I'm not sure he knew about – if he offered help, that meant that he had a good day and he was happy in his own way, if he didn't, then it was a sign for me to leave him alone.

'Thanks.' - And thus we began to work together quietly. It wasn't the awkward silence most teenagers experience. It was comfortable and reassuring because we may not have said anything at all, but both of us knew that if one of us were to speak, the other would listen.

While he set the table, I finished preparing the meal. We were halfway through dinner when he suddenly asked between two bites:

'Bells, you never told me where you applied for?' - He was right. I didn't.

'Well, actually I only did for UW. I thought I could live in the dorms and visit you in the weekends. How's that sound?' - I nervously fidgeted in my seat. I knew Charlie wouldn't kick me out right after graduation but sometimes I felt that he liked living alone much better. He did that for fourteen years. He was used to it. Maybe he wanted to be alone more. Maybe he would have liked me a bit further away. My point is – I was nervous.

'That's so nice of you honey. Wanting to visit your old man.' - and as he said a small smile played on his mustache covered mouth.

'What old man?' - I feigned shock and looked around the kitchen. 'I don't see any around.'

'Don't flatter me, I'll become embarrassed. Embarrassed and Chiefs are not compatible.' - He said with a laugh.

'But seriously, Dad, won't it bother you if I come home to do laundry and to study?' - I went on just to make sure.

'As long as you cook something good, it'll be fine,' – he winked at me. A few months ago this would have shocked me, but now I knew that Charlie was quite easy-going as opposed to the strict father I'd expected. Suddenly the phone went off. Charlie chewed his latest bite then stood up grumbling a quiet 'Not again,' to himself. This wasn't an unusual occurrence in the Swan household. At least twice a week they would call Charlie because of a minor problem or request his assistance to remove some fallen trees from the roads.

'Chief Swan speaking.' - boomed his authoritative voice. ' Yes... I suppose,' great, I thought. Cleaning up is all on me again. ' She's here. Bells, you've got a call!' - he shouted as if I was upstairs in my room. I made a motion which clearly meant 'Me?', he just nodded his head. Okay, I mean it could be Angela although we pretty much discussed everything at school.

I padded to the phone and took it from Charlie who tried to give me a strict look and said, 'You've got five minutes, young lady.'

_What? Why would he say something like that?_

I nervously said a faint 'Hello,'.

'Bella?' - a hoarse breath said.

'It is she.' was my simple answer.

'Do you remember?' - this time I recognized the voice. Edward. Shit.

'What?'- I asked dumbly. 'The kiss.' - he breathed again.

_Holy ... I'm dreaming. I must be. Would Charlie look at me funny if I just pinched myself?_

He didn't wait for a clarification, ' I do, you know, and just wanted to tell you... I wanna kiss you somewhere else, too.'

_Ugh, it's not right getting wet with your father in the same room._

'I want you to kiss me... lick me...suck me...' - he was pulling out the big guns. I couldn't help but moan. He sounded sexier than anything I've ever heard. I was definitely dreaming.

That's when I realized there was laughing in the background. He was playing with me. 'So what do you say, want to come?' I knew he was smirking. The asshole. Well, two can play at a game.

'Why don't _you _come?' - I tried to sound as sultry as I could.

'Your father wouldn't mind?' - he sounded surprised.

'I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you Kissed My Ass!' - with that I hung up and was met with a cross-looking Charlie in Chief mode.

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><p><strong>AN:**

_Penny for your thoughts?_


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